“Can I really GROW MY BRAIN?” : Helping Your Child Not Fear Failure

“Can I really GROW MY BRAIN?” :  Helping Your Child Not Fear Failure

 

Have you as a parent personally tried something and failed miserably? Have you ever wanted to give up because you “just aren’t good at” a certain thing? Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I’m just not a math person.”? Well, it’s time to hang that old argument up! Research says, we may not be good at a certain thing currently, but given the appropriate strategies and putting in the effort and hard work…we CAN DO IT, eventually!

Carol Dweck a professor at Stanford University has been captivated with what motivates us to learn, and how we cope with failure. Her research came together in her book: Mindset: The New Psychology of Success published in 2006. In Mindset, she explores how our own beliefs about what we are capable of doing, strongly affects how we live our lives. It also reflects what we teach our own children about themselves and what they can accomplish.

Les Brown, a famous and well celebrated motivational speaker says, “The word ‘BUT’ is an argument for our limitations….and when we argue for our limitations—we get to keep them!” He also always says,

“There is greatness within us! There are winners. There are losers. And, there are people who have not yet discovered how to win.”

Here is how to win. Here is how to make the mental leap that will help YOU help your children design a better future for themselves. Having your sons and daughters using these strategies and changing their minds about what is possible will not only help them obtain mastery in school, but will also help them succeed in life, by GROWING THEIR BRAINS!

Many believe that you are either born smart or you are not. This is called a “fixed mindset” where we feel our basic qualities can never be changed. We feel the need to prove ourselves over and over because deep down we believe if we fail we must be dumb. If we succeed, we must be smart. Also, what will other people think of us if we fail? The other belief, which is the shift we must make, is called a “growth mindset” where through the use of intentional strategies taught to us, hard work and persistence, we actually can increase our intelligence.

Both parts are necessary, because sometimes we see our children work and work and work, only to get more discouraged because their grades do not reflect their efforts. Or sometimes, our children just give up and don’t want to try at all. How do we know if our children harbor a fixed mindset, or do they have a healthy growth mindset? Please look at the chart below:

concept-schools-blog7

We all have a combination of a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. We cannot escape how we were raised as a child—what we were taught. The key is how will we teach our children so they will feel fully able to accomplish their dreams? Here is a list people whom many of us know, who experienced painful setbacks before becoming famous:

Walt Disney (co-founder of The Walt Disney Company with his brother Roy Disney) – His boss at the Kansas City Sun newspaper fired him because he lacked imagination and didn’t have any good ideas.

J.K. Rowling (author of the Harry Potter series) – She was fired for writing stories during work time.

Oprah (called the Queen of Media and currently worth $3.1 billion) – She was fired as an evening reporter in Baltimore and as a TV producer because she couldn’t separate her emotions from her stories.

Thomas Edison (inventor of the movie camera, battery for electric cars and the practical electric light bulb) – He conducted secret experiments at his job at night and was fired when he was discovered. He has 1093 patents in his name to this day.

Albert Einstein (mathematical genius) – He did not speak until he was four years old and did not read until he was seven.

Steven Spielberg (one of the most popular and influential movie directors in Hollywood : producer of 153 movies; director of 55 movies & writer of 22 movies) – He did not graduate from college until he was 56 years old.…after he had won two Oscars, two Golden Globes and two Emmy awards. He wasn’t accepted into film school on his first try, because of his “C” average.)

35 Famous People Who Were Painfully Rejected Before Making It Big

 

4 ways how you can encourage the growth mindset in your home:

  1. If you catch your child saying, “I’m just not a (math, science, English etc..) person”….just add the word ‘YET’
  2. When your child seems discouraged and frustrated while studying say, “That feeling of (math, science, English etc…) being-so-hard-you-want-to-give-up is you GROWING YOUR BRAIN!”
  3. Emphasize: “The point is not to get a perfect score, but to learn step by step and grow your UNDERSTANDING.”
  4. Never say: “Well…at least you tried.” Never give in to environmental factors and circumstances. ALWAYS say, “Well, let’s look at what you have tried and see what you can try next!”

 

 

Changing from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset is literally the key to going after and achieving our dreams. It is the key to our children growing confident, resilient, not fearing failure; and embracing challenges and setbacks. It is the key to them saying: “I can do it. It’s possible!”

 

Changing from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset is literally the key to going after and achieving our dreams. It is the key to our children growing confident, resilient, not fearing failure; and embracing challenges and setbacks. It is the key to them saying: “I can do it. It’s possible!”

 

concept-schools-blog8

Changing from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset is literally the key to going after and achieving our dreams. It is the key to our children growing confident, resilient, not fearing failure; and embracing challenges and setbacks. It is the key to them saying: “I can do it. It’s possible!”

 

Leave a Comment

Comment (required)

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

Name (required)
Email (required)